What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Friends are made by many acts, and lost by only one.

A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.

Some call it laziness, I call it deep thought.

Energizer bunny got arrested ---- he was charged with battery :-)

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

To beat the five o'clock rush, leave at noon!

I couldn't repair your brakes, so i made your horn louder.

How do you tell when you have run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There's no future in time travel.

If you choke a Smurf, what colour dose it turn.

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Oh lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!!!

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?